Spotlight

Its weird knowing my time is slowly dwindling down. Like how crazy is that? It sucks, and its really hard to think about. So instead of thinking I'm just kinda writing about it. Cause that seems easier. Less heartbreaking. Maybe. I can't beleive all the 'last times', and 'never agains' that I've been realizing are swirling everywhere around me. Like, every single time I go somewhere (with the exception of school of course, that doesnt count) I think to myself, I wonder if this is gonna be my last time walking into this place, or doing this, or doing that. Is this the last time I'll see you, her, him, them, you? Its so incredibly hard and it's so disgustingly painful i cant even barely talk about it. So i write. That's something out there that I don't stink too bad at! :) But anyway, it's like everything around me is in the spotlight lately. Especially tiny little things I never figured I'd notice. Well, and then me too. Everybody is paying attention to me considering I should be long gone by now, thank God I'm not. It's just strange, like I'll step back in class 5 minutes before the bell rings or something, and just basically dissapear and realize what it's gonna be like when I'm actually... well I wont say it. It hurts too much. Or like at lunch, I'll just take in the conversation going on around me and think to myslef, wow life's gonna go on and people are going to miss me but, after 2 maybe even 3 years I'm just going to be barely a memory. Man thats, lol, that's really deep. I dunno maybe I shouldn't put that but, it's the truth and you guys deserve that. Even if it sucks lol :) Well, i leave you to your day, but if i could have one request before i go it'd be this. Please don't forget me.