Day 1

You know what sucks? Lonliness. Pure and simple lonliness. Feeling completely left to fend for yourself and not being able to see any familiar faces. Maybe some of you are thinking, wow you sally suck it up its not that bad its only been like a week. Yeah, but a week without one familiar smile or hug or lunch table or hallways or even teachers. Most of all, i miss the laughs. I'm pretty good at making people laugh, or so they say, but here.... its not even worth it. My one little gift and i dont even wanna use it. "Well grow up! Get over it! Make new friends!" Well im trying. But they will never EVER be the friends that i have at home. The ones i miss with all my heart. And you can't just replace the smiling faces that i know and miss so extremely much with the snap of a finger and 15,000 brand new ones. That's just not even possible. These new halls that i have to travel are so excruciatingly empty, even with 3,000 students crammed into them. I'll hear someone shout my name in the hall and whip my head around hoping for a familiar face and a hug to run towards. But all i see, is some other girl with my name running off to whoever called for her. And i just turn and walk away, swipe at a tear. I miss you all. Please send me a hug, because i really need one :,(

Spotlight

Its weird knowing my time is slowly dwindling down. Like how crazy is that? It sucks, and its really hard to think about. So instead of thinking I'm just kinda writing about it. Cause that seems easier. Less heartbreaking. Maybe. I can't beleive all the 'last times', and 'never agains' that I've been realizing are swirling everywhere around me. Like, every single time I go somewhere (with the exception of school of course, that doesnt count) I think to myself, I wonder if this is gonna be my last time walking into this place, or doing this, or doing that. Is this the last time I'll see you, her, him, them, you? Its so incredibly hard and it's so disgustingly painful i cant even barely talk about it. So i write. That's something out there that I don't stink too bad at! :) But anyway, it's like everything around me is in the spotlight lately. Especially tiny little things I never figured I'd notice. Well, and then me too. Everybody is paying attention to me considering I should be long gone by now, thank God I'm not. It's just strange, like I'll step back in class 5 minutes before the bell rings or something, and just basically dissapear and realize what it's gonna be like when I'm actually... well I wont say it. It hurts too much. Or like at lunch, I'll just take in the conversation going on around me and think to myslef, wow life's gonna go on and people are going to miss me but, after 2 maybe even 3 years I'm just going to be barely a memory. Man thats, lol, that's really deep. I dunno maybe I shouldn't put that but, it's the truth and you guys deserve that. Even if it sucks lol :) Well, i leave you to your day, but if i could have one request before i go it'd be this. Please don't forget me.

2 Weeks

Well guys i made it! I am home safe and sound :) good ole albert lea! Its nice to be back and kickin lol but i only have a skimpy mere 2 weeks until my life is utterly and unbearably miserable until the day i graduate and get out of there. Today I get to go sledding! Sleddin is my favortie winter passtime i have to say. That or most likely snowboarding. I love to snowboard, go flying down the blanketed hills scattered out amongst the town. Somtimes falling down them, but thats only on my bad days. :) Well, anyway, school starts up again tomorow and that is pretty exctiting condsidering.... well we'll just stay away from considering for now. Geometry i am not so excited about though. But really who is? Well i'll let ya'll go back to whatever lives you own and have an amazing last day of break (and its time for some of you to probably start thinking about opening up your back pack to see what you were supposed to do, much like myself)!!!! <----check out those exclamation points i am such a rebel! Lol yeah good one. Alrighty my fellow americans, have an awesome day!

Heading Home :)

Finally!!!! Christmas break is, almost, over, and for most people thats an extremely suckish thought. I'll admit it even kinda stinks for me, with the knowledge of the fact that a certain geometry teacher will soon be assigning more funtastic homework that everyone just loves!!! (I'm really hoping you all know thats sarcasm) Anyway, it's 5: 30 in the morning, and I'm just letting you all know that I'm heading back home to see all your pretty faces again!!!

Filling Up Space :)

Lol well this blog is pretty much to fill my week's requirement, cause there just really isn't anything new to talk about that doesn't summon tears to my eyes. Well let's see... J10 feature story, done. J10 blogging, working on it. J10 Hero Project, almost done sorta. J10 Math Thing, not even close. J10 J10 J10 J10 J10 J10 :0 I like the class, but aye chalupa! What a busy weekend! Iv'e pretty much done homework, babysat, and made presents for the fam for presents (well not all of them, but quite a few). Sweet life! Ok so i just now figured out that i need to have a softball applebees party before i leave cause i love my amazing softball girls and i had a soccer one already! Well there's my idea for the day :) Now I'm excited! And with that exciting tidbit of information, I am excruciatingly tired. And with tomoro comes a sad, sad, horrid day of emptying out my beloved room into cold, gray boxes. Lol so much for no tears, huh? Well, I hope you have a good night out there! Whoever you are :)

A Little Bit of Everything

Man this whole moving thing... it sucks. I hate it. I hate my parents. I hate changing schools (a school at which i will be having an 8 period day, 2 more semesters of gym class, the prohibitation of cell phones-cant even have em at lunch, 2000 students in a ONE FLOOR school, and the stupidist school colors ever with no people of which i wish to be associated). I can't stand any of this. But you know what? I have amazing friends to get me through this :) Kelly threw me a surprise soccer party at plaza morena which was amazing!!! Erin is going to make me a poster lol! I get to live with Brielle for 2 weeks!!!! Michelle is going to play softball for me (ahem- ahem!)! And my personal favorite, Kelsey T is gonna blow up North Dakota for me and solve all these problems!!! Also, i just used like 2000000 !'s and Mr. Worth's ghost hasn't popped out of my shoulder and killed me yet, so that's good!!! But anyway, thank you ALL for being the most amazing people in the world, to me :) Who knew little ole Albert Lea Minnesota, barely on the map, would be home to so many incredible people? Guess what, I did :) I love you all so much and I'm so not gonna be able to handle being away from you guys at all. Lol you're all lucky, you only have to lose one friend. I have to leave about my whole heart behind (so y'all better take care of it!) I'll be blogging absolutely every day, so you best stay tuned!!!!!!!!!! You are all incredible, and impacting, and amazing, and spectacular, and i don't know how ill survive in stupid North Da-flippin-kota :'(

Thanksgiving... Or No Thanks?

Thanksgiving. Happiness, right? Family, right? A flippin 250 pound turkey, right? Sure! Except for at my house we had no family come over, infact our grandparents came 2 days late. Turkey? I wish. We had pork chops. Yeah, you read me. Pork chops. On freakin turkey day!!! Happiness? Not for me and you can guess why. I do have something to be thankful for though! I am infact staying with my best bud for the last 2 weeks of the semester, to finish it out and make this stupid, unnesecary transition easier. I'm so thankful for those 2 weeks, you don't even know. My mom, again, says its easier to leave sooner than later. She is wrong, again. I'm gonna squeeze in every last second I possibly can here at home, and ask every single day to come visit. And as soon as I get my liscence... good luck trying to keep me there B) That's what I have to say. Am I a rebel? Not really, just... passionate. Yeah, we'll go with that! Have a good thanksgiving all ya'll!