Lately

Everything has melted and spring has finally sprung! A few beautiful rain showers and the glorious sun gleamin down is wonderful compared to all the snow. I'll miss the snow though, but in a few months it'll be back. Lol. Well soccer started. I made JV. Whoop whoop. It feels good to get outside and moving again, and with a soccer ball under my feet is one of the times i feel most alive! There is one thing missing though. True happiness. True absolute joy. The team i play for is pretty crabby and not very encouraging and the coach has me playing at a completely new position I've never played before and its not very fun. Its like midfeild and i run up and down the feild with the ball and its hard to keep up. I rarely touch the ball and I just.... I was hoping it would be fun but keeping my head up is getting harder. Who knows, maybe it will progress into something better but i have doubts. So that's just a little bloop of life right now. Nothing exciting really but you guys should comment and tell me all about softball becuase i miss it and my team terribly!

The Lost Get Found (Britt Nicole)

Hello my friend.

I remember when you were so alive with your wide eyes.

Then the light that you had in your heart was stolen.

Now you say that it ain't worth sayin.

You wanna run but you're hesitatin.

I'm talkin to me.



Don't let your light go down.

Don't let your fire burn out.

Cause somewhere somebody needs a reason to beleive.

Open your eyes up now.

Don't be afraid to stand out.

That's how the lost get found.

That's just part of that song that i love very much. It's spoken to me, to my heart, recently. If you listen to the rest of it, you might find you like it! This song taught me that no matter where i am, there's still Christ's light to shine and i intend on doing so. Lol i just... don't really know where to start. How to start. Maybe you guys out there have some suggestions :)

Im Goin Home

Guess what guys :) in four days (not counting today, which is Tuesday) i will be pulling into the great beloved city of Albert Lea!!!! I absolutely can NOT wait for that day! School seems to be going extremely slowly here and its only 3rd hour on Monday so its gonna be a long week, but well worth it because I'm like giddy with excitement. And really? who says giddy? only dorks like me! And im so pumped :D So ill see ya'll soon! i love everyone so much and i expect a hug from each and every one of you!

Missing

You know what i've realized? I've left my heart in San Fransisco. Except i mean Albert Lea. Everything here..... its just all so bland and lifeless to me. Everything i care about is exactly 5 hours away from here. And nothing here really matters yet, im not sure if it ever will to be honest. I've yet to find something worth pursuing here, but only time will tell. i absolutely cannot wait to come visit. sweet giblets is been 3 weeks and its like im starving for oxygen to feed my life's blood. and thats you guys :) youre my oxygen and i am being DEPRIVED! i cant stand this. im so sad, all the time. its because my heart's been broken. and AL is the glue i need to fix it up! so everyone better comment and let me know how its going :) because i need to keep up with these things! lol. i love you guys and miss you tons. my next big adventure? it involves you!

Day 1

You know what sucks? Lonliness. Pure and simple lonliness. Feeling completely left to fend for yourself and not being able to see any familiar faces. Maybe some of you are thinking, wow you sally suck it up its not that bad its only been like a week. Yeah, but a week without one familiar smile or hug or lunch table or hallways or even teachers. Most of all, i miss the laughs. I'm pretty good at making people laugh, or so they say, but here.... its not even worth it. My one little gift and i dont even wanna use it. "Well grow up! Get over it! Make new friends!" Well im trying. But they will never EVER be the friends that i have at home. The ones i miss with all my heart. And you can't just replace the smiling faces that i know and miss so extremely much with the snap of a finger and 15,000 brand new ones. That's just not even possible. These new halls that i have to travel are so excruciatingly empty, even with 3,000 students crammed into them. I'll hear someone shout my name in the hall and whip my head around hoping for a familiar face and a hug to run towards. But all i see, is some other girl with my name running off to whoever called for her. And i just turn and walk away, swipe at a tear. I miss you all. Please send me a hug, because i really need one :,(

Spotlight

Its weird knowing my time is slowly dwindling down. Like how crazy is that? It sucks, and its really hard to think about. So instead of thinking I'm just kinda writing about it. Cause that seems easier. Less heartbreaking. Maybe. I can't beleive all the 'last times', and 'never agains' that I've been realizing are swirling everywhere around me. Like, every single time I go somewhere (with the exception of school of course, that doesnt count) I think to myself, I wonder if this is gonna be my last time walking into this place, or doing this, or doing that. Is this the last time I'll see you, her, him, them, you? Its so incredibly hard and it's so disgustingly painful i cant even barely talk about it. So i write. That's something out there that I don't stink too bad at! :) But anyway, it's like everything around me is in the spotlight lately. Especially tiny little things I never figured I'd notice. Well, and then me too. Everybody is paying attention to me considering I should be long gone by now, thank God I'm not. It's just strange, like I'll step back in class 5 minutes before the bell rings or something, and just basically dissapear and realize what it's gonna be like when I'm actually... well I wont say it. It hurts too much. Or like at lunch, I'll just take in the conversation going on around me and think to myslef, wow life's gonna go on and people are going to miss me but, after 2 maybe even 3 years I'm just going to be barely a memory. Man thats, lol, that's really deep. I dunno maybe I shouldn't put that but, it's the truth and you guys deserve that. Even if it sucks lol :) Well, i leave you to your day, but if i could have one request before i go it'd be this. Please don't forget me.

2 Weeks

Well guys i made it! I am home safe and sound :) good ole albert lea! Its nice to be back and kickin lol but i only have a skimpy mere 2 weeks until my life is utterly and unbearably miserable until the day i graduate and get out of there. Today I get to go sledding! Sleddin is my favortie winter passtime i have to say. That or most likely snowboarding. I love to snowboard, go flying down the blanketed hills scattered out amongst the town. Somtimes falling down them, but thats only on my bad days. :) Well, anyway, school starts up again tomorow and that is pretty exctiting condsidering.... well we'll just stay away from considering for now. Geometry i am not so excited about though. But really who is? Well i'll let ya'll go back to whatever lives you own and have an amazing last day of break (and its time for some of you to probably start thinking about opening up your back pack to see what you were supposed to do, much like myself)!!!! <----check out those exclamation points i am such a rebel! Lol yeah good one. Alrighty my fellow americans, have an awesome day!

Heading Home :)

Finally!!!! Christmas break is, almost, over, and for most people thats an extremely suckish thought. I'll admit it even kinda stinks for me, with the knowledge of the fact that a certain geometry teacher will soon be assigning more funtastic homework that everyone just loves!!! (I'm really hoping you all know thats sarcasm) Anyway, it's 5: 30 in the morning, and I'm just letting you all know that I'm heading back home to see all your pretty faces again!!!

Filling Up Space :)

Lol well this blog is pretty much to fill my week's requirement, cause there just really isn't anything new to talk about that doesn't summon tears to my eyes. Well let's see... J10 feature story, done. J10 blogging, working on it. J10 Hero Project, almost done sorta. J10 Math Thing, not even close. J10 J10 J10 J10 J10 J10 :0 I like the class, but aye chalupa! What a busy weekend! Iv'e pretty much done homework, babysat, and made presents for the fam for presents (well not all of them, but quite a few). Sweet life! Ok so i just now figured out that i need to have a softball applebees party before i leave cause i love my amazing softball girls and i had a soccer one already! Well there's my idea for the day :) Now I'm excited! And with that exciting tidbit of information, I am excruciatingly tired. And with tomoro comes a sad, sad, horrid day of emptying out my beloved room into cold, gray boxes. Lol so much for no tears, huh? Well, I hope you have a good night out there! Whoever you are :)

A Little Bit of Everything

Man this whole moving thing... it sucks. I hate it. I hate my parents. I hate changing schools (a school at which i will be having an 8 period day, 2 more semesters of gym class, the prohibitation of cell phones-cant even have em at lunch, 2000 students in a ONE FLOOR school, and the stupidist school colors ever with no people of which i wish to be associated). I can't stand any of this. But you know what? I have amazing friends to get me through this :) Kelly threw me a surprise soccer party at plaza morena which was amazing!!! Erin is going to make me a poster lol! I get to live with Brielle for 2 weeks!!!! Michelle is going to play softball for me (ahem- ahem!)! And my personal favorite, Kelsey T is gonna blow up North Dakota for me and solve all these problems!!! Also, i just used like 2000000 !'s and Mr. Worth's ghost hasn't popped out of my shoulder and killed me yet, so that's good!!! But anyway, thank you ALL for being the most amazing people in the world, to me :) Who knew little ole Albert Lea Minnesota, barely on the map, would be home to so many incredible people? Guess what, I did :) I love you all so much and I'm so not gonna be able to handle being away from you guys at all. Lol you're all lucky, you only have to lose one friend. I have to leave about my whole heart behind (so y'all better take care of it!) I'll be blogging absolutely every day, so you best stay tuned!!!!!!!!!! You are all incredible, and impacting, and amazing, and spectacular, and i don't know how ill survive in stupid North Da-flippin-kota :'(

Thanksgiving... Or No Thanks?

Thanksgiving. Happiness, right? Family, right? A flippin 250 pound turkey, right? Sure! Except for at my house we had no family come over, infact our grandparents came 2 days late. Turkey? I wish. We had pork chops. Yeah, you read me. Pork chops. On freakin turkey day!!! Happiness? Not for me and you can guess why. I do have something to be thankful for though! I am infact staying with my best bud for the last 2 weeks of the semester, to finish it out and make this stupid, unnesecary transition easier. I'm so thankful for those 2 weeks, you don't even know. My mom, again, says its easier to leave sooner than later. She is wrong, again. I'm gonna squeeze in every last second I possibly can here at home, and ask every single day to come visit. And as soon as I get my liscence... good luck trying to keep me there B) That's what I have to say. Am I a rebel? Not really, just... passionate. Yeah, we'll go with that! Have a good thanksgiving all ya'll!

Keep My Head Up

This really royally sucks. I can't even say it, to just type the "m" word kills me, even more so to say it. To see how everyone's face gets all bent out of shape, hurts so much. The more people that find out, the more the pain rises. My mom told me it would get better as more people found out. She was dead wrong. Whenever people see me, there's this horrible darkness looming over me they can't forget about. Like I have a disease. That's the part I hate most about this, people will remember me as that girl who moved sophomore year. That just sucks the life right out of me. These next 2 1/2 years are going to be the worst I've ever been through. Too bad they're my last high school years. You'd think my stupid parents would at least let me finish out the flippin year!!!!!!! But no, I'm not good enough for a request like that.

But anyway, what I was actually going to write my blog about, is I'm going to keep you guys updated on here every single day. I swear. Mr. Worth, you obviously won't have to grade this anymore, but..... I guess you could...... that would be weird but if you want to, go for it. So yes, I will always be here, thinking of everyone at home, my real home, every single day of the rest of my life. I promise :)

What Hurts the Most

Well i guess i better come clean. Now its out there and there is nothing i can do to hope it will change but hope itself. Here goes. I'm moving to North Dakota. There, the hardest 5 words i will ever possibly write. Life sucks so much right now i don't even know how to say it. I love Albert Lea to death, and not to mention the PEOPLE! The worst part of this isn't that I have to start over again two years before i graduate, or miss out on what would be the best softball season ever, or miss my birthday, or being a soccer captian with kelly senior year, or learning to drive, or getting my first car, the list is endless. You know what the absolute hardest thing of this whole stupid thing is? All the amazing friends that I'm hurting by having to leave. I feel so bad that I'm going and its not even my fault. How crazy is that? Just to even think of how most of you will react to reading this, my heart can barely stand it. I know the world won't stop, and life will go on, but life will be so painfully worse.

This new, strange, big, scary, horrible, cold, friendless town is going to drive me so close to the edge, it's crazy. But i know i'll make it through this crap, i have to. Becuase there's an amazing little town called Albert Lea Minnesota. Barely on the map, and yet i wouldn't trade it for the world. It's my home. And no matter how much my parents want me to beleive it, Fargo North Dakota will never EVER be my home. God may be calling them to minister there, but I am defenitely NOT feeling called. So my parents can do whatever they like there, but I for one know I don't belong there. I just feel it deep inside me. My parents would say that its because of me just hating this change but its even farther past that. Like, it isn't my place. I swear I'm not making that up. But apparently I'm still gonna have to go. So I guess I'll suck it up for a couple years, graduate, and move on to bigger things. It just sucks that the last 2 and a half years of my highschool experience are gonna be so terrible. Well, now that I have you all in termoil, possible tears (oh i hope not), Im gonna get some shut eye. Thank you all for loving me, and no matter what happens i will still love all of you so so so so much :) Sleep well and dream big!

<3 Snevets

A random conversation with Christopher Weniger

Well... blogging isn't very exciting when there's nothing in the world to blog about.
agreed!
rock on
I frikin love this! :P so wuts up dude
many things. all of which are so top seceret that if i told you, id have to kill you. check this out:

B)

shades
I KNOW!!!! frikin BOMB!!! check this!
-.- sour face!!

guess what? youd be really good at cakeball
ya i know but i never find the time to play!
o that sucks man
i know... :/

well only in the chocolate frosting league. the other ones are too easy
i know right
yea
sucks
wut about the cupcakers.... theyre frikin GOOD!!!
so true!!!!!!! THEYRE LIKE FRIKIN MANNA FROM HEAVEN!
dude. i watched hercules the other day... i wish i were hercules, itd be so awesome!!! youd like kill monsters with your godly streanth!
rock on again!!!! lol im sure you would make a totally BOMB hercules, just dont let yourself be seduced by a scary lady. ive always thought she was creepy!

Rachel Stevens
Chris Weniger

Who Am I?

Tonight at church we learned and questioned sort of what our purpose is in life. Have you ever thought about that? I mean, I've never really just sat and thought about it cause I'm so busy. ALL the time. Lol. But, you know what I mean? Hm. I'm not quite sure what I'm planning on becoming. Every single elementary teacher I had asked me and my class the infamous 'what are you gonna be when you grow up?' question and my answer changed every single time. So it's not like I've had a solid foundation as I've grown. I'm leaning towards being a mom, hopefully of two, living in the country with a lot of animals and being a writer. So there ya have it. With my luck of course, I'll probably be shipped off to Tibet to find the Yeti or something, but that is my goal as of now. Nothing is set in stone and it never will be. Even as I live it. But yeah, I think that's what I'm supposed to do. I hope so because that's what I love to do. So anyway, now that you have that thought rolling around upstairs, I'm gonna go to bed cause I've had a long......... well I've been tired ever since school started. My 7th grade year :) So g'night!

Who am I that the Lord of all the earth would care to know my name. Care to feel my hurt.
Who am I that the eyes that see my sin can look on me with love, and watch me rise again.
Not because of who I am, but because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done, but because of who you are.
-Casting Crowns, Who Am I

Unforgettable

Soccer. Crazy fun. Crazy hard. Crazy COACH. You get my point, kinda crazy, soccer is. On Tuesday, falling under the crazy catagory is sad. Crazy sad. I couldn't beleive. A horrible twist in my gut and tears welling up inside me as the seconds wound down. I wouldn't dare cry in front of our enemies though. So instead, I glared. The seniors broke down. Absolute greif had a grip on our team. One goal, one lousy goal, which was because of a faulty call. That was the reason for our loss. I don't know. I'm glad the season is over because there is so much less stress to my life now, but that was not the way to go out. That's the feeling that's been bumping around inside my heart lately and I thought I'd dump it out on all my adoring fans out there. :) So thanks for listening. Well, reading I guess, but it's all going to the same place right? Yeah, it is. Well that's all. I'm done. So thanks. Love ya'll! Have a great week!

1 Down, 2 to Go

10 seconds. All or nothing. 10 seconds. The crowd is cheering louder than when Obama won the election. Everything in you is telling you to scream! But you just can't. All you can manage is to stare straight ahead and a heartbeat. A foot connects with the ball, one of our feet. It's sailing closer. 3 seconds. It's in! No. The goalie slaps it away. 1 second. The roar of the crowd is deafening, but even more so is the gasp from your team as they recognize that a shoot out will determine todays result and your team's future is on the line. Your second family might be torn apart 2 games too soon. 5 players are chosen. And of course the amazing goalkeeper. The first steps up to the PK. Arranges the ball just right. In a flash, the ball hits the back of the net. The crowd is ecstatic, as well as yourself, but the referee's whistle screams out. The rejoicing is cut short. The shot didn't count, she didn't wait long enough to kick it. Re-do. Another rocket, straight into the crossbar. She charges the ball and sends it in, but it's too late. Up walks their first girl, and our goalkeeper positions herself just right. The strike, deflected! An even game. Up walks the next of our girls, with an amazing shot that doesn't quite get in. Next. We get scored on. Crap. Shouts of encouragement ring out, and it'll all be ok. It continues like that, goal, miss, goal. Until finally, it's the last shot. If we block it, the game is ours. Silence. Absolute silence. And tension so high you could stab through it with a toothpick! Their girl kicks it, it looks bad for us. But, with a stretch of the fingers and a beautiful dive, our beloved goalie saves the day and pushes the ball away. In the next instant, we charge out onto the feild and we're jumping and hugging and screaming, even a few tears. Through to the next round, Albert Lea Girls Soccer. What an amazing team I have.

If Today was Your Last Day

It's a good song, but have you ever really given a good thought to the title? Life is really just a flash, isn't it? That's crazy. So, if you don't wake up tomorrow, then would your life really be worth it? I'm not so sure about mine. I defenitely haven't done anything historical. But my real question here is, would you do anything different if today was your last day? I'm sure I would but..... what would it be? Wake up for the sunrise, stay up for the stars? To watch them gleam one last time? Hug all your friends, say goodbye to your folks? Call grandma? Or would you do something you've never done before, like go surfing or cliff jumping or something? Sit and watch all your favorite movies? Write your will? Listen to your favorite song ten thousand times? Pray? I don't really know. I would probably do something with a soccer ball :) I'm not really sure what people would remember as though. I guess it gives me something to think about. How about you out there, whoever is reading this? What would you be remembered as?

Yesterday is history. And history is miles away. So leave it all behind you, let it always remind you of the day. The day that love made history.

You know you can't stay right where you fell. The hardest part is forgiving yourself. So lets take a walk into today. Dont let your past get in the way. Cause yesterday is history.
- Matthew West, History

Just Chillin

You know what I love? Just laughing. Honest to goodness, stomach hurting, doubled over laughing. I used to laugh like that all the time when I was younger, and I could make people laugh like there was no tomorow. As I've gotten older though, I've started to lose my touch I think. I can still make people laugh and smile, but it's not as blissful as I'd intended. I can't even remember the last time I laughed so hard I almost wet myslef. In elementary school, I'd be able to tell you an instance like that every single day. Too bad those days are gone, huh?

Something

Dude blogging really sucks if you have no idea what to write about. So, of course, I'm writing about that fact. It's a fun assignment, and I like it and stuff, but most days I'll sit down to write something and end up closing out of the site because there's just nothing there. Well, I suppose I could make stuff up so I sound like someone who is popular and cool but I'm kind of a doorknob, so cool isn't something I'm very skilled at. I do love writing though, I've wanted to be a writer since fourth grade and its the only thing I'm good at. Math? Good one. History, no. Science, definitely out of the question. Writing gives me a chance to be somebody else. I like reading too cause then I can escape into the pages or whatever but writing the pages is a whole new idea entirely. So, yea, I've always wanted to write and maybe someday I'll write a book better than Twilight. All the die hard fans probably just fainted just now, after reading that. Lol. Anyway, I write what I want, and that's ok with me. So you can all say, hey that lady wrote a book and I read her blog! Well that's all. Not much of an entry today, huh? Oh well, there's always the slim chance that something exciting might possibly happen to me that I can blog about. Yeah, good joke :) Have a good day!